What's in a Dream?
by the mischievous pixie
Summary: This is a random humor fic based off a dream I had last night involving some people familiar to me.  OOC tendencies and randomness await
1. Chapter 1

**What's in a Dream?**

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: This is just an extremely random story based loosely on a dream I had last night. I just thought it would make an interesting little quickie. Apologies to any of my friends…there will be randomness.**

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"TROGDOR!" Julie screamed into Allana's ear to wake her up. Allana nearly jumped out of her skin as Julie and the rest of her friends laughed.

"Well, I didn't need that ear anyway," she grumbled, "wait a tic, where are we? It looks almost like part of an ancient morgue or something…are we having a slumber party at your work Jules?"

"No Allana, it would appear we're in a Jigsaw trap and if you start smiling I think I might hit you." Jenny came up and said, while the blonde was short and generally happy the look on her face made Allana think that she genuinely would hit her. "So tell us, what did you do?"

"Why is it automatically my fault? I haven't done anything bad recently, and just because I fell asleep watching SAW VI last night doesn't mean this is my fault."

"Well since you're the expert we're making you the leader." Robert said, "But first we should figure out who's all here, and what the pecking order will be."

"Anyone from UF dies first!" Allana said, only half joking, "Seminoles forever!" Earning her a glare from Jenny and Lauren. "So there's me, Julie, Robert, Jenny, Lauren, and a dead body in the corner. Wait…who's the dead body?" she screamed, running to hide behind Julie.

"We don't know, it's been there since Robert woke up first." Julie said, "Still freak out over seeing real dead bodies? Irony." Then a TV in the corner of the room turned on, showing the infamous face of Jigsaw's puppet.

"_Greetings and welcome. I trust you are all wondering why you are here. Well to be perfectly honest I just thought it would be interesting to see how a group of friends would navigate my traps instead of a group of strangers. Will you stay loyal to each other to escape this chamber, or will you focus on saving yourself? Let the games begin."_ The puppet stopped speaking, but continued to stare at them. Jenny noticed a video camera attached to the ceiling and climbed on Lauren's back to get a better view of it.

"I have an idea!" she said, "Hey Jigsaw! If you have that hot detective Hoffman working for you right now, Allana will screw him if you let us outta here!"

"WHAT THE FUCK JENNY? I am not a sex bargaining chip!" Allana pushed Jenny off of Lauren.

"But Allana," Julie interrupted, "you said you thought Hoffman was sexy and that you'd jump his bones if given the chance."

Allana's face turned red as everyone in the room stared at her, "Well…yes I said that…but that's not the point!" Robert started laughing, "Shut up or I'll stab you with another pen."

Then the lights in the room came on, showing a multitude of painful looking devices. Pinned up by each one was a note explaining what each device did and how it would work. Each person carefully walked up to a different device, trying to figure out which would be less painful. Robert walked up to what looked like an array of metal coils, he touched one and immediately yelped, jumping back a few feet.

"What did you do." Allana and Julie asked in unison.

"The wire's electrocuted! It shocked me! But there's a zebra print backpack on the other side."

"Which means it's either mine or Allana's," Lauren said, "but how do we get it?" Everyone turned to look at Allana.

"Fine, I'll finagle a way through and get it." She took a running start and leaped through a gap in the wire. The good news she was able to grab the bag, the bad news was she was stuck. "Ahh!" she screamed, "Help me outta this thing! It's shocking me and it hurts and my hips are stuck!" Lauren and Julie struggled to pull her out since when they touched her, the shock was transferred to them. When they were able to get her out, Allana was twitching and sporting a very electric hairdo. While she recovered, Jenny opened up the bag.

"This has gotta be Allana's bag, there's dynamite and fireworks and C4 and matches and wine and handcuffs-"

"Okay Jenny we get the point," Julie said, not wanting to know what else was in there, "Now what are we going to do with it."

"Blow a hole in the wall!" Allana said, earning weird glances from everyone, "Hear me out, we set up the dynamite and C4 by the blank wall, use the dead body as a bit of a buffer. Then we hide on the other side near one of the sturdier looking traps, possibly the hand-blade boxes from SAW V, and BOOM there's a hole in the wall and we can escape!" Everyone nodded their approval when suddenly the dead body jumped up.

"Whoa! I am NOT cool with being used as a buffer!" Everyone screamed as the former corpse stood up, they screamed even more when they realized who it was.

"AJ?" they all screamed, Allana and Julie grabbed the nearest blunt objects they could find and knocked her back out in shock.

"Maybe that wasn't the smartest idea," Julie said, "well let's find something else to use as a buffer. Allana, you go set up the explosives."

While Allana finagled an intricate line of dynamite and C4 (and a couple fireworks for flair), the others worked on creating a buffer. They broke off pieces of the other traps and devices that they could, until they formed a wall big enough to hide them all behind. While they hid behind the makeshift wall, Allana wheeled out enough fuse to ensure a good bang.

"Okay, are we ready?" Everyone nodded, "time for fire!" Allana lit the fuse and ran to hide with the others behind the wall. A few tense seconds later, the whole room shook with an enormous explosion, temporarily knocking the power out. When the lights came back on, they saw that yes indeed there was now a giant hole in the wall.

"Who's going to be the first one to go through it?" Jenny asked.

"As the only man in here," Robert said which caused everyone else to giggle, "shut up, I will go first." He walked over to the hole and poked his head out.

"What do you see?" Lauren asked.

"I see a giant room, with OH MY GOD! A 6-foot tall Optimus Prime Statue!" He ran away from the group to go admire the statue. The girls, not wanting to be left behind, quickly followed suit. They did leave a note for AJ about where they went so she could find them when she woke up.

"Funny, this is kinda how I thought your apartment would look like Allana." Jenny said as they meandered through the warehouse room.

"Okay I get, you all think I like nothing but SAW! Can we please move on to something different? I almost miss when you all thought I was gothic." Allana was sitting on a stool drinking her wine and sulking. As she put the bottle away, someone harshly put their arm around her throat. "Robert if that's you, you know I will fucking hurt you."

"But I'm over here with Optimus!" he called from the other side of the room.

"Then who's holding me?" Allana glanced at a mirror in the corner and saw Detective Hoffman standing behind her, "Oh that's who that is. Nice."

Julie, Jenny, and Lauren tried to come to Allana's rescue, but Hoffman used his free hand to point a gun at them.

"Not so fast," he said, "you all didn't play by the rules, and John and I realized that having Allana in the game with you is somewhat of an unfair advantage."

"Yeah cuz I like to blow up stuff, I know!" Allana sighed.

"No! It's because you helped them to cheat! You didn't go through any of the tests; you just blew a giant hole in the wall! And with your vast knowledge of my work, it will again be unfair to the rest of you." John, aka Jigsaw, came out from his hiding spot. "Hoffman, take Allana out of here so the rest of them can play the game the right way."

Hoffman started to drag Allana out by the neck when she elbowed him in the stomach, "I can walk just fine you know. Julie and Robert, remember all my ramblings about SAW! Sometimes I know what I'm talking about!" Hoffman then grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away.

"Now, let the real games begin." John said, motioning them to return to their original room.

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**A/N: originally this was going to be one giant one-shot, but I'm splitting it into three parts to make it a little easier to read. I'd like to apologize to anyone who appears in this, I love you guys but this is what my subconscious dug up last night.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: **

**A/N: sorry it took so long, I just wanted to tie this up**

When the group (minus Allana) returned to the original room, the hole that had been blown into the wall automatically fixed itself.

"Man, why does Allana get to hang out with Detective Walking Sex?" Jenny sat down and pouted.

"Because she's watched SAW too many times, maybe if you'd watch it too then you'd be in there as well." Lauren said, trying to wake up AJ.

"No thanks," Jenny retorted, "that puppet scares the crap outta me! Especially after you bought Allana that big one for her birthday Julie."

"heh heh heh," Julie laughed evilly, "that was a fun birthday!" the TV turned on again, and they were faced once more with the puppet.

"_Since you all failed to follow the rules the first time around, the room has been altered. Look around, know that I'm not lying. Now each obstacle is set in order, almost like a maze. You must complete one to move on to the next, and only after you complete them all will you be permitted to leave. Your first task will be the Electric Labyrinth, the one that your friend got stuck in. you will have 10 minutes to find a path through the wires before an electric current will surge through them, shocking anything that touches them to death. Let the game begin._ As the timer started to count down, the friends pushed each other to get into the maze.

Julie was the first one to complete the maze, followed shortly by Lauren.

"How did you do that so quickly?" Lauren asked, "You practically flew through there!"

"Watch enough football and watching Scott play enough video games…I can handle plowing through stuff." Soon after, the others completed the maze, AJ being carried by Robert.

"Ok, what's next? I'm bored already." Julie sat down and winced, "Fuck, I think I pulled my knee…again."

"can't we just blow up another wall?" Robert asked, "I'm getting sick of carrying the ginger."

Meanwhile…in the monitoring room…

"So what's this button do? And this one? And this one?" Allana was running around the monitoring room drunk trying to push all the buttons.

"Good god, how do the others put up with you?" Hoffman put his head in his hands, he watched the others complete a second obstacle (The Needle Pit).

"Because I'm smart and cool, and I've got awesome tits too!" She laughed and tossed him a bottle of wine from her bag, "Loosen up a bit Hoffers!"

"Will you stop trying to blow up the place?" Allana nodded, "Then sit down right here and be quiet." Allana skipped over to the chair he pointed to and sat down. "Crazy bitch." He muttered and started chugging straight from the bottle.

"I…hate…you…all!" AJ climbed out of the needle pit with the 4 keys they needed for the door to the next part.

"Well you're awake now." Jenny and Lauren helped pull her out.

All of a sudden another explosion was heard from the opposite wall. They looked over and saw Robert standing by a newly blown up wall. "What? I'm fed up with this shit." He walked through the hole back into the lair, the girls running after him.

They spent the next few hours hanging out in the main room of the lair, playing with the various traps in there and trying to stop Robert from humping that Optimus statue. Once Julie accidentally set off a nail bomb, John came storming back in.

"Oh what is this? I thought I told you to finish the tests! Why wasn't I notified!" He stormed over to the door of the monitoring room, "Hoffman! Why aren't you…" he opened the door and quickly shut it. "You guys can get out of here…this idea was not well thought up." He lowered his head and practically ran out of the room.

"Wait, where's Allana?" Julie asked. She went up to the door and opened it, "Jesus Peter!"

"JULIE EITHER JOIN IN OR SHUT THE DOOR!" Allana yelled.


End file.
